hello everyone,
i've decided to rant about how much school is giving me stress.
i have got so much to do, one of those things is to memorize something for my english controlled assessment.
i'm so unprepared and i hate it.
but it's not entirely the school work that is giving me stress, it's the people i have to work with.
in my learning environment i am surrounded by some students who don't even want to learn, they just go to school because they have to.
it annoys me because i really want to do well, for my future, but some students are inconsiderate and all they ever do is talk and not put any effort into their work. that's what annoys me. and when i am annoyed, i get stressed.
what also stresses me is that at lunch time, i'm surrounded by people eating.
it makes me uncomfortable.
i think that i have a problem with food, because i can never eat it around my friends or at school. only when i am with family, i feel slightly at ease. i only truly feel comfortable eating when i'm on my own. i find it very difficult. i love food, but i dislike eating. recently i have gained a little bit of weight, and i tell my parents that i am proud of what i have gained, but inside my head i am hating myself for doing something silly like eating. i don't want to gain weight, i want to be thin. i hate my body. i'm going to admit though, i do feel slightly better now that i am eating. last year, i used to skip meals and eat very little, almost nothing. i only weighed about 102 pounds, which is probably around 7.4 stone. even then i didn't feel happy about it, but i have gained up to 108 pounds since then, still not happy about my weight but i am feeling happier because i am eating and not starving. i need to find another alternative to losing weight.
it's just funny how nobody seems to notice, not that anybody cares about it anyway.
anyways,
goooooooooodbye !
Wednesday, 6 November 2013
Saturday, 2 November 2013
parker cannon appreciation post
i pretty much have an obsession with parker cannon of the story so far, so here are reasons why i love him.
he is perfect omfg look at him, look at his aggression its so hot.
his sunken chest. omg you could place your head on his chest and lay there for hours. sooo comfy.
he's such an excellent singer like omfg wow take me to bed
and finally, his tweets are hilarious omfg. i could literally die. he even posts pictures of random people holding skateboards and says 'skate or die' omfg. you can tell he's a gemini, just like me. god i love him.
STAY TUNED FOR MORE APPRECIATION POSTS.
things that aren't so great.
things that aren't so great..
well there's a lot of them.
one of many reasons could be the fact that you don't answer me when i call, even though i'm dying to hear your voice but it's as if i never cross your mind.
i'm in a really foul mood at the moment, and i just want to talk to someone.
i was talking to an old 'friend' and they're just treating me as if i'm nothing. i used to be able to talk to them
about anything, and we used to be extremely close but due to recent events that i am not going to discuss, they just don't even consider me at all. i try to speak to them but honestly, their response is something less than monosyllabic.
why do things have to end up this way?
why can't we just forget any stupid things that have happened and move past them?
i honestly thought life was much more enjoyable when you get over the stupid problems and talk to each other as normal. surely i'm not the only one who thinks this.
there's literally nothing i want more than for us to be friends again. but, of course that would only happen in a perfect world. in this world, people are self centered and think the only thing that matters is their own self. its disgusting. no matter how hard you try to regain a friendship with someone you've fallen out with, there's always something holding back even the slightest chance of being close once again.
you make me miserable, you always did. in fact, i'm more or less relieved you don't care about me.
but it's just the constant thought of what could have been which annoys the heck out of me.
friends?
no, only up until the moment that something unexpectedly decides to ruin the whole thing.
if i actually call you a close friend, that means that i'm more than comfortable around you and i trust you enough to tell you everything. anyone else i talk to are just people that i perhaps may have a lot in common with or i might need help with something. it sounds a little harsh but sometimes, you've got to look after yourself and make sure you aren't getting hurt. that's why it's great to have only a few close friends, so that you can manage everything.
i just really wanted to rant about people, so here we have it.
in the next post i'll probably do a little bit more ranting but goodbye for now.
(p.s i hate school so much, i have to write another 1000 words tomorrow for an english controlled assessment draft and i have no idea what i'm going to say. i just want to sleep. siiiiiiiiiiiiigh.)
in friends we trust - chunk! no, captain chunk!
well there's a lot of them.
one of many reasons could be the fact that you don't answer me when i call, even though i'm dying to hear your voice but it's as if i never cross your mind.
i'm in a really foul mood at the moment, and i just want to talk to someone.
i was talking to an old 'friend' and they're just treating me as if i'm nothing. i used to be able to talk to them
about anything, and we used to be extremely close but due to recent events that i am not going to discuss, they just don't even consider me at all. i try to speak to them but honestly, their response is something less than monosyllabic.
why do things have to end up this way?
why can't we just forget any stupid things that have happened and move past them?
i honestly thought life was much more enjoyable when you get over the stupid problems and talk to each other as normal. surely i'm not the only one who thinks this.
there's literally nothing i want more than for us to be friends again. but, of course that would only happen in a perfect world. in this world, people are self centered and think the only thing that matters is their own self. its disgusting. no matter how hard you try to regain a friendship with someone you've fallen out with, there's always something holding back even the slightest chance of being close once again.
you make me miserable, you always did. in fact, i'm more or less relieved you don't care about me.
but it's just the constant thought of what could have been which annoys the heck out of me.
friends?
no, only up until the moment that something unexpectedly decides to ruin the whole thing.
if i actually call you a close friend, that means that i'm more than comfortable around you and i trust you enough to tell you everything. anyone else i talk to are just people that i perhaps may have a lot in common with or i might need help with something. it sounds a little harsh but sometimes, you've got to look after yourself and make sure you aren't getting hurt. that's why it's great to have only a few close friends, so that you can manage everything.
i just really wanted to rant about people, so here we have it.
in the next post i'll probably do a little bit more ranting but goodbye for now.
(p.s i hate school so much, i have to write another 1000 words tomorrow for an english controlled assessment draft and i have no idea what i'm going to say. i just want to sleep. siiiiiiiiiiiiigh.)
in friends we trust - chunk! no, captain chunk!
introduction.
well, here's my first blog post so i decided to start with this;
i wanted to start blogging just so that i could write down how i'm feeling and what's on my mind.
i had the idea that if i start writing this blog, i can discard any unwanted emotion through my use of words. hopefully, i will feel better after writing down my thoughts and feelings rather than keeping them locked inside.
to any of you who are interested in reading my blog, please understand everything that i write, i do so with the intentions to write exactly how i feel. if you feel that you are responsible or feel any concerns for my ideas/feelings you may approach me on facebook (if we are friends) and i can talk to you. usually though, this blog will only contain thoughts about what i'm surrounded by. be it peers, friends or the society and the way other people think. i can already tell that i'm passionate about various topics and enjoy a good debate.
i hope that the intro to this blog didn't attract any negativity, as i am only intending to be honest so that you can understand anything that i may write.
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